I honestly can't wait to feel better. When I took a break from therapy, it gave me a little taste of what it might feel like to have therapy be over and to feel okay, and I really liked how it felt. I felt able to handle my feelings, good and bad, I felt gentle towards myself, I felt like I could be vulnerable and strong at the same time. I felt like there was enough of me to go around - enough of me for me and for the people around me. I could feel all of the love and care that T had given me, and I could carry it with me. That is how I hope it is when therapy ends.

I love going to see T when I'm having a good day. I actually find it embarrassing to go in there all the time with this issue and that issue and this bad feeling and that bad feeling. I'm so overwhelmed right now, and it makes me feel ashamed that I can't just deal with the things in my past and move on. Ugh.

There was a time earlier in therapy when I wondered what it would feel like to "get better" and not need T in the same way. At this point, even though I love T more than anyone except my family, I want SO deeply to feel better enough to not need him in this way.