I'm sorry that you are feeling so bad. It is hard and horrid and nasty sometimes....and I don't have any words for you.

But I care, and it matters to me how you are and I read your posts even if I don't always have the words to reply. If I had magic words I would use them, but I know I don't have any words that will help fill the deep horrid hole with some goodness. I'm sorry about that, if I could, I would.

Hope can feel so so elusive, sometimes I feel it is more horrid to have glimmer of hope than none at all. But, maybe, hope can grow...