tried to reach out to the only person i can really talk to. . .he said it was my fault. that i have to stop blaming everyone else and i cant stop thinking that maybe it is. maybe if i'd just been a better person things wouldnt be this way. maybe if i'd done things different. and i feel so guilty that i let everything happen, and all this time i thought it wasnt my fault but i was wrong. i've been so wrong about everything.