I'm sorry this is going on. It is confusing, and this is one of those situations where it never seems to get easier to understand, no matter how many times you might experience something like this. I guess the important thing is to know that you'll never really know his motivations if he doesn't tell you, and he says he's not ready for commitment, and certainly not a long distance one. Men tend to say what they mean in these situations, so don't drive yourself nuts trying to read into the situation. He likes being with you, and you like being with him, but he's not ready to work on it if it is going to require a lot of his time and energy - he has other stuff he's focused on. I totally understand your wanting to put it all out there and put everything into it. I'm there myself right now. Time really does heal wounds (but it never really makes the memory of them go away)... I think it sounds like you've got your head on straight about this situation. This situation might be easier for you to manage over time, but you have to make sure you don't let a good opportunity with someone who is on the same page as you pass you by while you wait for him to figure out what he wants.