So I'm in college and I've been struggling with emotional issues since middle school. When I was growing up my parents were emotionally abusive and I cut myself in order to deal with it for years. The years before I left for college I usually felt so hopeless and depressed I guess. I got over most of this and sometimes I feel like I'm perfectly okay, but then just when I think I'm okay for good I completely melt down. Small things I guess push me over the edge and I end up losing control, feeling like nothing will ever work out and just balling my eyes out uncontrollably for hours. And I cut myself a few weeks ago during a breakdown after not doing it for a year. I also worry uncontrollably about random things and let little things blow out of proportion into things that will ruin everything if they happen. I don't know if this was an anxiety attack, but I'm afraid of driving on unfamiliar roads in a car that isnt mine and I was coerced to dd and got pulled over for looking unsure of what way I was turning. I almost lost it completely. I was trying not to cry but could not stop shaking at all. I know there is something wrong with me but I don't know what it is. I know I shouldn't get too drunk when I'm already not that stable, but I do and have the worst meltdowns and want to die. I never got any help when I was still living at my house and in school even though thats what I wanted more than anything. Once I finally got to college I did go to the counseling center but it was really not helpful for me and I was unable to tell the counselor most of the stuff that happened growing up and how I really feel sometimes. I dont know what to do I just feel so uncomfortable a lot of the time and it interferes with things such as driving.