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iamspecial · Jun 03, 2011, 07:37 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by **Angel**

Hey Rachel,

I am so sorry to here about your grandmother,

Loosing someone to death is a very difficult thing to cope with, even if you were close or not, I am sorry you had to deal with so much abuse, that must of been awful for you to cope with, they had to right to hurt you

Your grandmother knew you loved her exceptionally, because of how you had treated her...It's not your fault special, things happen and it's difficult for us to cope with such strong emotions

Here is a article on dealing with death that you may wish to check out....

Dealing with death

Losing someone close, whether they be a relative, friend or lover is hard. Your emotions run haywire while you try to grasp what has happened and the loss you feel seems endless. We can't bring them back but we can try and help you understand your feelings.

Please also check this page out

http://www.thesite.org/healthandwell...reavementblame

My Grandma died this week and I'm feeling really bad. I was with her until the end but I just keep thinking that I should have been able to do something to keep her here. We all miss her so much. She was so ill at the end and maybe we should have made different choices about how she was treated. Please help me, it feels like it's all my fault.

Thank you Abi..i have read that article over and over but i still feel the way i do...i'm so sorry for your loss...you have been through a lot and you are only 15....i am here if you need to talk Abi and you dont need to feel alone...maybe if you read some of this you have posted here it might help you too...its still very early for you has it was this week and not 8 years ago....i still feel there was more i could have done but didnt...i was just a child yet i felt it was my responsibility b/c i did a lot of things with her and i was alway happy and i felt safe with her...it was just when she got ill i kinda could see i was losing her and it really hurt but still i kept my distance from her and i didnt tell her what i should have...i shouldnt have locked myself away like i did but i did....the last time i got to see her i knew i wasnt going to see her again but i still didnt say or do anything...i just had to fight the tears so she couldnt see me cry and had to kiss her goodbye.....it was really hard fighting my tears but i had to do it...i wasnt aloud to cry infront of her or really i wasnt aloud to cry...she was my bestfriend and i pulled away has she died and now i wish i had told her just how much she meant to me and how lost i was going to be without her but its too late...i didnt have a propper good bye with her b/c i was scared, affraid that by saying goodbye means shes gone forever and i just couldnt do that but i wish i had now....you still have time to say goodbye to yours so please if you get the option to see her then please go to see her...i wish i had done but i didnt and really regret not going to see her....it gives you a chance to say goodbye and tell her just how much she is going to be missed and how much you love her......i wish i had done. ((((((((((((((((Abi)))))))))))))))))