I know how hard it is to lose someone so close. But you need to remember that you are important, too. I mean your friendship wasn't just one-sided was it? I expect it wasn't. A friendship takes two. The rejection of a friendship ending is awful. I hope you don't resort to the ODing again. I've done it many times and it didn't solve anything.

Maybe you can bring up to your mom other ways to ensure that you won't OD again. Do you live at home? Maybe she can administer your meds to you, leaving you with no way of getting the chance to OD. Just an idea there.