The title sums up my situation fairly well. However, I also have issues with poor self-esteem, which may be complicating the problem.

First, a bit about me:
I'm in my mid-40's, married for almost 20 years, and have no children. My parents are both deceased (Mom, 13 years ago and Dad, 8). I have no siblings. My wife, on the other hand, still has both parents, several siblings, and a relatively large extended family.

Now for my problems...

It's hard to decide where to begin. The past few years have had some pretty low points - my wife had a total hysterectomy (benign tumors) in '05, I left my job of 16 years in '06 (debilitating stress), terminated from another job in '09, suffered a foreclosure last year, and I'm trapped in a dead-end job that barely keeps our lights on and a roof over our heads. My wife treats me more like a servant than a spouse, for the most part refusing to do anything for herself, such as cooking or laundry. Our sex life has been non-existent since her operation. Overall, she's more of a friend than a spouse - and barely even that. The strange thing is, she actually seems to get jealous if I even talk about another person (male OR female) too much (in her opinion). She does have control issues, and I suspect that she doesn't want any "threats to her control" over me. I just don't know.

Up until recently, I've been able to deal with the lack of true companionship fairly well. I've always been a bit of a loner, so I've found it easy to keep myself occupied. True, there have been times that I've wished that I'd had a "best bud" to hang out with, but nothing really unbearable.

The past few months...
I have actually having a "longing" (for lack of a better term) for female companionship. The relationship wouldn't even have to be sexual in nature, but it wouldn't be unacceptable nor out of the question. I've even taken to exploring some avenues to facilitate this, though I've taken no action at this point.

I seem to be going "down in the dumps" more and more frequently, especially when I think back on some of the decisions I've made in the past.

Mid-life crisis? True depression? I honestly haven't a clue. The one thing that I DO know is that those things that I wrote about above are occupying more of my conscious thoughts each day, and it's worrying me somewhat.

Thank you for listening. If I can provide any clarification, just ask.

TiO.