I think you said it all black pup. There is a book that I'm half way through, and it seems like most of the people here have read it. "Living with someone who is Living with Bipolar." You should talk to your doctor, and read this book. Street drugs and alcohol can send you into Manic or mixed states. You can't control your impulses. I only stopped drinking this week. You also have to stay off of caffeine. It can do the same thing. I do the same things with friends and family, and just start to hate them, but with the right meds and no stimulants, and therapy it starts to get better. Just remember these are diseases you have, and it's not the real you.