Thomas,

I don't think your situation is all that uncommon, but I know that doesn't make it any easier to deal with. I think you're at the prime age for a mid-life crisis, and I know what they're like because I went through one a few years ago myself. Mine ended in a divorce after a 20-year marriage partly because we did "explore options", although not sexual (that I know of). You've got to be careful and realize that seeking female companionship could end your marriage, and decide if you're willing to take that risk. I think the sexual excitement and attraction dies down in any marriage after a while, and being friends becomes an important part of a relationship as you get older. Not saying the sexual part has to end completely, but I think relationships do change as we age.

I also feel that people panic when they realize they are getting older and feel like they need to bring back that excitement with someone else before they lose their attractiveness. But we need to decide if it's worth it to risk ending a relationship we've put all these years into. The grass isn't always greener on the other side, and there's a lot to be said for people who stick with each other for a lifetime.

I do totally understand how you're feeling, though, and I know it's tough. It is helpful to come here and just get everything out and get some feedback. I hope you can find a lot of support here!