welcome blacksheep. i too protect myself especially family. because i say "there's a pink elephant in the room", it reminds them how dysfunctional they are. so that scares them. as time has gone by i learned to move on, distance myself, protect my own serenity. i know they will never validate my feelings or value me in their life. sometimes a compromise can be met but in my case i finally had enough. it's ok for us to do this.