I tried doing that 'Ask-A-Therapist' thing but it didn't work, this is kind of a looong storyy sooo...

Sorry if this seems all over the place but I don't even know where to begin. I feel like my family is causing so many problems for me, or are just making things worse. I'm the youngest of 3, my brother and my sister have messed up a lot when they're growing up so there's no room for my mistakes. They feel like I should learn from their lives & anything I do that they disapprove of, I get it from everyone. They don't ever listen to me, they never want to talk all they do is yell at me & make fun of me if I'm crying. I've been 'disowned' because of what a f*** up I am. They say I'm the cause of all the problems in the house. Everything started when I started messing up in school. I slacked so much in high school, instead of doing my work and going to class I'd use that time to hang out with my friends because my parents never let me out. I couldn't even go to the mall, they didn't even want me to get a job. My main priority was supposed to be school, & it was the complete opposite. In the end I didn't have enough credits so I didn't graduate. Still haven't but I'm trying! I want to do something with my life especially to prove them wrong. I'm supposed to finish through the mail but I have to do everything through my high school & my counselor is never available, they don't listen to me though. I've tried explaining things with them so that they could help me and instead they answer, "If you're such a smart *** figure things out by yourself". They think I just don't want to do anything but things seem so out of reach. I feel like I'm never going to finish HS or go to college. Then they throw things in my face like all the money they wasted on my school & I'm not even doing anything with my life. So now I just put in my head that I got to get a job so I can start taking care of my own things without them. Problem is the only "work experience" I have is when I would help at my dad's office. I've filled out so many applications & NOBODY hires me. I'm just feeling completely useless. Nothing is going good. All my friends have jobs & go to school & I have absolutely nothing going for me. The only good thing I have is my boyfriend. He's seriously the only thing that keeps me happy. He encourages me to get my stuff together, helps me deal with my family, actually deals with them with me because they blame him for everything. The one good thing I have and my family hates him. That's one of their main problems, they think just because he doesn't live in the nicest neighborhood he's no good when they never even gave him a chance. My mom would call him just to insult him & threaten him because he won't leave me. My whole family hates me because I won't break up with him. I met him my sophmore year, sooo I've been with him about 4 years or more. There's no way I'm going to break up with him especially because he's the only thing that brings me happiness. & these past 2 weeks have been the worst. Every time I come home from being out or something there's this big scene at my house. The other day I went out RIGHT IN FRONT OF MY MOM, she seen me leave, & she told my brother I snuck out. I'm 19 years old, I have no reason to be sneaking out. But still my brother starts yelling at me and starts getting in my face, to avoid a fight or getting hit I go outside. My sister goes after me just to keep yelling in my face. I start walking away from her & she runs inside to tell on me that I'm leaving. I wasn't even going anywhere. My sister's 31 years old & she ran inside like a 5 year old screaming "SHE'S LEAVING!". My brother run's outside grabs me & throws me into the bushes yelling at me to get inside. Then when I'm inside, my brother, 28 years old, starts punching me that I'm disrespecting his family. I WASN'T DOING ANYTHING! I'm trying to avoid things & situations just get bigger than they need to be. I try explaining myself & I'm just a liar & a piece of ****. This always happens. If it's not my brother attacking me it's my mom, or my sister goes in my room & breaks my things cuts up my clothes, & writes ***** on the wall. I swear it feels like it's out of a movie. On top of all this they tell my cousins & other family things about me to make me look like the asshole. [excuse my language] but they leave out the things they do or say to me. I swear no one has ever attacked me or insulted me like my own family. My mom hurt herself when she was trying to hit me so it's my fault & I'm the *** hole as always. WHO TOLD YOU TO ATTACK ME?!?! Then they say I'm a worthless piece of ****, & that I'm a fat *** ***** that isn't going to get anywhere in life. I'm going to end up alone with 5 kids on welfare. That I should cut my self & just get the f*** out already. Telling me that they don't care about me & f*** you & that I'm dead to them & telling me to go to hell & wishing death upon my boyfriend. WHO SAYS THAT? I'm not one to let words get to me but it's hard not to when it's your family. & then it's like, if I'm dead to you why are you doing all this, wasting your breath and energy on a dead person? They wonder why I don't leave my boyfriend, He's all I have. Now I get mad faster. With my family I always had patience. I'm starting to see them like people on the street. I have almost 0 patience. When they yell at me I go nuts now. I scream at them at the top of my lungs to just leave me alone [they then say I'm psycho & need help; & yeah I really do] & when they start hitting me, even my mom, it takes so much SO MUCH to not defend myself. I start to find it hard to breath & it's so hard to hold back. I'm getting serious anger problems from all this. They're pushing it, I feel like I'm just going to explode. I need to remove myself from this situation but I feel like I'm never going to be able to. I've seriously thought about suicide, because it just seems easier. I can't do that though. I want to prove them wrong about everything. Things are just getting real hard right now. I talk to my friends about things but I feel like maybe I'm being dramatic, & I don't want to bother anyone since I seem to bother my whole family. & with all this I feel like I'm a burden on my boyfriend too. He doesn't have to deal with these things but he does for me. I don't know what to do anymore. I'm so confused & just tired of everything.