Quote:
Originally Posted by WePow
((((Granite)))) Well, the email I sent saying that I had an issue with alchohol was on Sat last week. I know it was holiday and he was out of town, but my session was Thursday. I would have thought he would have taken the time to read the email at least before we met. But it was not important enough. I get that (finally).
I don't know, just hearing him say "Good thing you pointed that out to me, you could have slipped that right by me." I don't know. Maybe it was just that this issue has been one I fought with since I was 11 yrs old ... I don't know.
He told me my homework was to think about how alchohol was a problem for me.
Somehow ... I don't know. It is like he didn't hear what I needed most for him to hear. That he can't see me. And that I am just not worth his time to see. That is how I feel honestly.
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Oh, I know how that feels, or something like that. One time I felt so unseen and unheard that I called T and left her a message. I said, "You weren't there, were you?" Meaning - she wasn't with me REALLY in session.
Next time I saw her she admitted that she wasn't fully there. It felt good for her to acknowledge it. And we discussed how it happened.
Another time, she told me I was acting like a spoiled teenager. I still haven't gotten over that and I know we'll have to address it at sometime even though it happened weeks ago.
BUT, the bottom line is that I know T cares about me and that even with the mistakes (on her part and on my part), that we still have a good connection.
Maybe you can give your T the same kind of slack. He wasn't there the way you needed him at that moment but can you remember all the times he was there for you. They are only human and we should try to not forget all the good they've done for us.
I love my T even with the ruptures we've experienced and I know more ruptures are inevitable. It's part of a healthy relationship, I think, to be able to accept another person's faults or mistakes.
I wish you luck in processing this with your T.