Rapunzel:
That is a major question "How much is too much." Once started how does one stop? I mean everything is so connected. If I discussed my major challenge right now which is stopping with the SI then people may want to know why I do it, which leads into a whole can of worms involving rape, abandonment and physical abuse. Yet a skimmed down answer to the question of "why?" doesn't even come close to explaining the depth of the problem. It isn't shame about what happened to me that keeps me from opening up about myself. I have gotten past that and could talk about it quite easily. The problem is that I am worried about how it will affect them. I understand the need to have a certain amount of...innocence as it were, about the reality of just how close mental illness lies to everyone. So how does one gauge how much is enough? How much honesty will cause them to back up behind their protective guaze? If I can be crazy then anyone at the store could just as easily become so. Perhaps I should just be patient and wait until this phase of my life is over. I have you all and I have my group. Perhaps the challenge is for me to start looking for a new focus so that I can more easily engage people who are not connected with the world of mental illness and the process of healing. But aren't they all healing from one thing or another?

Ozzie:
Have you ever studied the Enneagram? According that psychological tool I would be classified as an "Observer" personality. My way of interacting with people is that I take everything in until my perverbial bucket is full at which time I have to get the heck out of there so that I can go home by myself and pull each interaction out of the bucket and decide what I feel about it. I emotionally live my relationships alone in my room far away from the people I am interacting with. This is why they see me as calm and comforting and "with it". I have no emotions while I am around them. How does a person connect with someone else if there is no emotion to connect to? If I am in a situation too long and can't get out when I need to I become overwhelmed and have no idea how to deal with the emotions that are flooding my body because if I am not alone I can't take things out one at a time and isolate them so that the impact is not so...um...confused? Then my response is not always appropriate to the situation.

I am getting better at taking the emotions that I have sorted out at home and describing them to my coworkers when I am at my job. Such as "today I feel cranky because such and such happened." But they don't see me behave in a cranky manner. I am just like I always am. This must be confusing to them.

As far as humor and goofiness goes. Those who are close to me think that I am funny. But my humor is more of a dry wit that often goes over my co-workers heads (or around them). I loved this one gal who worked with us during the holiday season. She was always spot on with my jokes and could pick up the thread and carry it on. I love that. Oh I like it when they just understand but when they can carry it forward it just tickles me pink. My daughter is great at it and my son is learning. Hubby of course has always known and that is probably why we have stayed together for so long. One must never leave the person who laughs at one's jokes.
Carrie