I wouldn't say you don't sound "nice", just maybe "misguided" or "confused"? And I don't mean misguided in an ignorant or stupid way, just not clear on how to handle certain social situations.

I know that I do that but in a different way. I make fun of myself a lot and I've learned I do it to beat people to the punch. Like I'm afraid they will so, if I do it, it hurts less. It's along the same lines that I feel like an *** afterwards and know it's probably not very attractive to friends or other people but I can't help it.

Sounds like maybe you're protecting your ego. Or putting out this false image so people can't really get to know the real you. And, if that's the case, I'd say you're probably a little scared of rejection from people. I used to do the same thing with guys I date. I have learned to stop myself for the most part but still do it sometimes. I will be thinking something and I think to myself "you don't want to say that. you'll regret that later" but it still comes out. Most of the time it's just to get a rise out of them. But I understand it's probably some form of self-sabotage. Or my way of testing a guy to see just how much they'll put up with. I also have caught myself in situations where I don't want to be with a guy anymore and, instead of just breaking it off, I act crazy and say stupid stuff that way we'll get in a huge fight and I'll have an excuse to get out of it.

I don't know if any of this pertains to you but I also suggest getting this stuff off your chest to a counselor or T. If you are in any kind of school I'm sure you have people there who are more equipped to deal with these situations. And things like this can get very confusing trying to sort through yourself. It's good to have an outsider who has seen this kind of behavior before to maybe give you another perspective on possible reasons.

Hope we can help. We're here to listen if you need us and keep us posted