(((((Jexa))))) I'm sorry you're going through a hard time now. I can take a T's words and obsess about them too. I agree with the suggestions about breathing and mindfulness. They're helping me but it's hard to do them.

Are you feeling better today? I sure hope so! I think it's fine that you emailed a prospective T already.

I wanted to comment on what I quoted because it's my exact pattern too, and I don't know how to break free of it either. You wrote it just the way it is for me; I could have written those words! I wondered what any of your Ts said to do--how to get free of the pattern.