You are doin a great job Jazz! You deserve a huge pat on the back. It is very challenging raising children, and yet here you are, being a young mum, and having mental health challenges AS WELL!! Thats a huge accomplishment!!
We have three littlies IRL, 5,3,&1 yo's. I had a great midwife that has become a friend, when she pops in, she goes straight to the kitchen to see if its tidy... now before you think OMG how dare she!!!??, she does it to make sure the kitchen IS a mess because that means I've been payn more attention to children, less to housework. And with 3 littlies, there is ALWAYS a mess needing cleaning up somewhere!!
Sometimes we are quite incapacitated by our mental illness, and rely heavily on husband who also works long hours. But the point is is that it is "sometimes" not all the time. Your partner needs to PARENT too, and thats not just about the good stuff, not just about playing, or discipline, but about supporting you to be the best parent that you can be as your bub's primary carer. And as already mentioned, being a parent to young children IS a 24/7 job, and that is going to last for a few years yet! Don't worry about other new mums, or what their houses look like. Your priority is your bub, so shuffle the cares of what your house looks like down the priority list way under 'doing what 'needs' to be done', and making sure your little one is at the top with your needs a very close second (and having a clean house does not qualify as one of your 'needs'!!). You are doing THE most important job on the planet. Think about what you would like to model for your son... Would you like your son to see that a man is just as capable of doing housework, of supporting their partner in their home, a mum who will put the mop down because he is more important? Or would you like your son to see that housework is women's work, and is more important than his needs? Sure he might be too young in the moment to have large comprehension of this, but this is practice time for you too, and for your partner. Start now.
Teething is tricky and in our experience the severity of symptoms depends on age of child/temperament of child/type of tooth being cut, so no one rule fit every time. But one thing did work all the time, albeit very difficult and time consuming for me, was carrying baby when they are being so needy. We have a sling and a BabyBjorn pouch carrier for when they can sit up. Sometimes the only medicine a miserable child in pain needs is MUM, being held, being close, hearing her heart, her breathing. Putting bub in a sling meant for us that we could still get things done like putting out the washing, vacuuming (our kids loved us vacuuming while they were 'strapped' on), folding clothes, etc. Paracetamol will take away the pain, but not the pine, only you can do that. Ignore that fact and you will have a crying baby that no pill can fix!
I'm sure you know the basic teething help stuff and have bought gizmoes and gadgets to put in the fridge to help soothe inflammed gums (theres a lot out there!), but if bub is at a point where he'll only stop crying when you pick him up, then that is what needs to be done. That is what your sole job will be for the next 1,2,5,12, 24,48 hours. You HAVE to let all else slide, for both your sakes. You know from experience already that these times of 'intense need' don't last. Put up a sign in your kitchen that says,' This time will pass' or 'This will not last'. It works to remind you that they are babies for such a short time as well as that they are not sick forever (though it can seem like it in the moemnt!!).
Do you have family around you? What state in Oz are you? If you don't have family, and are in NSW, there are some programs that are kind of like 'rent-a-grandma', retired older people who come over for a chat to talk about the weather/general advice on bub/etc, a cuppa, and a sit and chat w baby while you can have an hour to yourself to get in a shower etc. (its not a babysitting service, its a 'we understand that it takes a community to raise a child' venture). Its a great program where the 'grandma's' get something out of it too if they don't have family that live near them. Most these women aren't elderly, just the age of maybe your mum.
I know how isolating it can be, and frustrating, and joyful, and ..... (enter any emotion/feeling you can think of here) being a mum, esp one with mental health challenges to navigate as well. Its not an easy path, but it is a rewarding one. And YOU are doing a REALLY GREAT JOB.
If I can be of any help to you, being a mum with mental health challenges living in Oz too, please feel free to PM me anytime...
Tc,
kp