Hello Matt,

I hope all is well for your family in every realm of life. I empathize with your dilemma, stuck though faithful. There are myriad influences, active or nascient, in a continuously monogomous relationship, and myriad things we can do to affect enriching shared experiences and outcomes, many of which necessitate, usually, more intimate contact to prescribe, unique for each being.

Let me assist regarding controlling and optimizing sexual desire, some of which may be done by men and women, and some uniquely for males.

A key element for men is that when we stand to pee we also drain semen out of our body. Is standing to pee pleasureable, satisfying, beyond getting the piss out? One reason why it may feel good has to do with the journey, the path the urine takes through the penis. The eurethral path is surrounded by the prostate and ganglions of nerves there, giving pleasure from the urine passing along. After a few years of life we most all notice that the last urine to leave the body is thickest, as it is loaded with sediment. When we stand to pee, not all of the urine available for release is passed and this last urine contains the most sediment. Retained within the body, this sediment acts as an aggravant to our prostate and the pleasure ganglions surrounding it which contributes to excess stimulation.

Being a gland, the prostate affects how we feel in many ways, including personal certitude. The abbrasive influences of the unreleased sediment aggravating the area diminishes both our health, our disposition and our virility over time and may be conducive to urinary tract / potency retentive tension, negatively affecting our friend's turgor, especially over time if such practices continue.

Two immediate things a man can do, amony many, are to pee while sitting down, which will release far more urine each and every time. Next few times you go to the restroom to pee, do so standing up as you may usually do, releasing as much as you do in your usual manner, then turn around and sit, only to discover there's far more inside just waiting to go the rest of the way, and thick too. The second thing men can do, and women can do this also, is to pour cold water from the navel down each time using the rest room. And when concentrating the mind, eating, sleeping or otherwise enjoying life beautifully, use the restroom anyway, releasing all urine and pouring cold water from the navel down.

Doing these two things will also prevent the regular loss of semen every time you pee, which I guarantee you is happening every time you stand to pee.

Yogic exercise is excellent for approriating sexual dynamicity for and when desired, of particular capacity is Cow's head pose, known as Gomukhasana in Sanskrit. After pouring water from the navel down after peeing, and while wearing tight underwear, sit on the floor with legs extended fully out in front of you. Leaning back slightly, first lift the left leg up above the right leg while the inner thigh presses and lifts from the perinium upward into the right leg, then crossing the left thigh atop the right then and folding the forelegs under your butt till you are sitting on your heels. [Attempting to reach this position with the forelegs is important though not necessary. I can't currently get them there though I reach toward that position as best as I can]. You should feel the inner thigh crossing lifting from your perinium, your prostate as well as your genitals all on top your crossed thighs.

Next is to reach your arms behind your back, one above and one below. With your left leg on top of your right leg, your left arm should reach behind your back crosswise with your left hand reach upwards between your shoulderblades, while your right hand shoudl be reaching over your right shoulder downwards to capture the fingers of your left hand into a clinch, as shown below:

Image-search this: gomukhasana.gif
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This should be done for 30 seconds four times on each side, alternating between each side consecutively.

Also, if you and/or your wife/girlfriend are taking any natural medicines, it will strengthen your bonds and fulfill the purposes of the one needing such proper natural medicine if both of you take the medicine, even if the partner does not personally need to take such medicine. Doing so greatly enhances the success of the needy partner's optimization and flourishes mutuality in your bonds, sparking richer intimacy.