HelgaDE,

Hugs

I TOTALLY understand how you feel.... when i was growing up, in addition to how you are feeling and treated, my parents would insist that I "snap out of it" and condemn me for wallowing in self pity and being difficult. They never once recognised that it could be a sign of depression (in those days BPD was not known) or perhaps they have too much pride to understand how I feel and also to acknowledge how I could have this problem. Never once did they research on this problem. On hindsight, if I had been offered help earlier my condition might not be so helpless and in this state it is now.

They only sat up and admitted I have a problem only when I slashed my wrists, ran away from home, got caught for shop lifting and engaging in other antisocial behaviour. All the while I was crying out for attention and some empathy from them... but NO, all they thought at that time was that I was merely going through some adolescent rebellious stage in my life.

In short, I have since gone through that terrible phrase in my life and I'm going through another (perhaps quarterlife crisis) phrase in my life... there were too many changes in my life within the past year, which incluldes moving to another country, getting married, quitting my fantastic job back home and unable to find one here, getting into HUGE financial burdens of the 6 figure kinds due to husband's previous gambling debts. I'm getting really insecure about the debts and loneliness here and the lower my esteem and emotions, the more i stayed home... and the more I stayed home, the lower my spirits get. it's like a vicious cycle.

Stay strong... you'll be fine and pull through.