Ok, I see, you are dealing with an alcoholic. Wow, you have been a mother and he is pushing all the buttons to make you be just that. I know exactly what that is, been there, done that. My last therapist was a recovering alcoholic/addict and I began to do it with him, unknowingly. Thankfully he admitted it to me and even stated that he was behind on his maturity level. I still have a hard time believing it and he did make mistakes with me. And to be honest, that is going to be one of my questions before I sit across from a therapist again. Unfortunately I have truely had such awful luck with therapists, just adding to my PTSD. I am actually extremely upset about it to be honest with you. No way to live and learn.

Alcoholics are way behind in their maturity. So, what you have to truely realize is that whenever he started drinking, that is his true maturity level. It took me years to so called raise my husband and/or wait for him to grow up. It was awful, just so overwhelming. And I have been working on his dry drunk ways of treating me, oh thanks to madisgram I have been working on that. But wow, it was so constant that just after being around him, I was exhausted. Some of the things you talk about ARE this behavior pattern. ENOUGH TO MAKE YOU DEPRESSED AND FEEL CRAZY. And your right, it is a tornado and you cant get in the way either.

His behavior is exactly the way a teenager would be asking but not wanting a real opinion and almost asking just so if it doesn't work out he can blame you. There is no real way to talk to an alcoholic, no real reasoning you know. No wonder why you are exhausted.

You need to get to an al-anon meeting for some sanity purple. Be around others that are or have been in the same boat just so you understand you are not alone.
You are just being pushed too far purple, just not fair to you.

Dealing with alcoholics is HELL. It just is and I know, I have been there.

Open Eyes