I just had a visit from the mental health team social worker. I really struggled not to dissociate. She said I was doing negative filtering, but it felt like she was saying that there were things I should do to help me recover from the depression. I felt overwhelmed, criticised, and found myself rocking in the chair, staring into space. Tryingto shut out what I peerceived as criticism ("You're not doing this already" "If you want to get better..." leading to "Do you really want to get better?")
Now I feel drained and I'm about to go out for my psychology appointment. I need some rapid grounding techniques. Hot drink is the first one, I think, and some of myself's ideas for being aware of my surroundings.