</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
kimmydawn said:
it's a long and hard daily struggle, zh. i feel this one for sure. it does feel fatalistic to stray from that hard daily struggle...which makes it harder.

it must be extraordinarily hard for you right now not being able to set aside time for inside. i hope that resolves soon. is there a way that you can set up a safe time a t's office? i think that's very necessary somehow.

i wish you well at finding a new place, one where you can you everything you need to do for selves.

kd

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post"> the problem we find with using the therapist's office as safe time is that often many hours to a couple days after a session can be that foggy haze with little memory. if we knew we could set aside time with a guarantee of better memory in exchange for allotting the time we'd do it.........but we know life offers no guarantees other than eventual death.

there had been much improvement in not losing as much time when we were arranging our lives around creating time for everyone's projects. still, not in a controlling vein, we'd like to know that we'd be "present" for the hours of the day we need to turn our attention to financial and housing and medical matters.

we've leaned a lot over the past couple years working with this therapist about creating balance between the therapeutic work and the rest of life. working on a schedule of taking breaks during the heavy work has kept the meltdowns to a minimum. charging full bore doesn't work......nor does ignoring things and hoping that doing nothing will be effective. we've changed the hours of therapy per week over time to better help this balance.

guess we're bemoaning that we can't count on being present when we need to be and that is hard when there isn't anyone else to swoop in and fix our lives. we are it. if we don't make these calls, write these cheques, pack our stuff, etc. nobody else is going to step in and make things better.

the near constant open houses haven't helped our system as the invasion of strangers into our sanctuary twice weekly has removed much of our sense of safety from our home. we can't leave our room in its usual state of art projects and journals out in various states of completion.

meh......phone calls starting. so much fun jabbering with prospective landlords about their $1000 400sf shack with a woodstove and no right angles anywhere in the dwelling.

grump grump grump