Trying to think in self defense, what does that do? What does it do to you to grow up thinking of ways to hide and get away quick. What does it do to the mind to have to try to understand someone who is an alcholoic and hurts you. Trying to remember why things happened and how you didn't understand.

What does it do to the brain to see so much work destroyed and someone who did it and doesn't care or respect you. Where does the brain go then? It can't just float away on a leaf thru a stream. Not when you have to live with the damage every day.

I wish I could just float away to a place where I could take a rest sometimes. I tried to do that in so many ways. Yes, I try to think about other things maybe challenging things. But sometimes it doesn't work.

I guess I have to not think? But if we do that, well others want to step in and think for you. Wouldn't it be nice to have someone do that, someone who could be intelligent enough to just take care of what needs to be done?

No, I don't think that it is good to have to keep remembering the BAD. But what if you are constantly asked to do that?

Sorry, I am just in a situation that I have to do just that. I think it is pretty cruel myself.
Where are the studies of the damage done to someones brain that has to remember something bad in so many ways for years, a lawsuit, years. Someone changes your life years of work, you are still paying in so many ways. No, I wish I could put that on a leaf and set it down in a stream and let it just float away.

Open Eyes