choosing awareness doesn't mean you never again draw, write and so on that you can do while unaware. since you can now control if you remain aware or not it means you now can do those things while being aware that you could do while being unaware. The trick is you learn to do them a little differently. You start out by You do them co-consciously.

I Couldn't draw anything but maybe a square or circle. I told my therapist one time - I wish I could draw like Mary does sometimes. She told me if I could draw while being unaware, then when I remember the memories that are separated I will also remember how to draw while being aware. All I had to do was keep trying to remain aware when I got triggered. The memories replayed and I acted the memories out when I got triggered. If I stayed aware while the memories replayed those memorys that changes where they are stored - they will be just like normal memories and when I wanted to draw all I'd have to do is pick up paper and pencil and think about what I want to draw and I will be able to do it. I asked her so Mary's drawing isnt going to stop. She said no. "the drawing is not going to stop, you will just do it differently. you will do it without being triggered and unaware." First you will be able to do it co consciously - when triggered and rerunning the memorys but being aware of the present ar the same time. When you do that the memories are automatically stored in the conscious level just like a normal memory and then you can draw any time you want while you are aware. All you have to do is pick up the paper and something to draw with and like normal draw what you want.

I asked her how to be co conscious. She told me we were already working on that. Every time she asked me to stay where I could see and hear her at the same time tell her what memory I was remembering when I got triggered. Doing that was co-consciousness. So then when I was alone when I got that floaty far away feeling I got out my drawing supplies. At first I couldn't remain aware enough on my own to do this but as I got stronger at fighting the triggers, I also got stronger at being able to control staying in that co conscious area long enough to draw what I was seeing, hearing and so on. I thought it was really weird being co conscious and telling my therapist what I was remembering. It was even weirder to be sitting there seeing my hand like I was in a far away tunnel and knowing I was drawing. The first time I did it I didn't do it again for a month or two. I wasn't scared but it sure felt weird. Now being in that co conscious area drawing doesn't feel weird at all.

By being able to be co-conscious I also have control of how long I draw. I can come back out of that area any time I want. I just put a clock where I can see it.