Your T is doing the right thing, not letting it be about her, because really it isn't about her......my T tells me this often, too, when I make a comment about how maybe my attitude that day makes it challenging for her. She says, it's not about me, it's about you, and we work with what you bring....
So, it is painful, and I understand. Because I would like it to be more about my T sometimes too, where she would say, yes, this affects her in this way.....but no. The therapy is about me and how things affect me....the therapy is about YOU and how things are in you, how they affect you.
You WILL survive and what's more, you will learn more about you and your pattern and how to make it different....