thanks, Indie, for all the hugs! I've had 15 years of therapy, so you'd think it would sink in by now. It's not that I want it to be about her, I just want to be with her all of the time. Same thing. Wishes and fantasies, I mean. I KNOW the reality. It just hurts like a new wound, each time. She was clear from the start, that she was a coach, and I'd get to know my internal parts, etc.

I just went right ahead and stuck her in like the rest! On the other hand, I truly do like her and she likes me. For real. The real, therapeutic relationship is very good too. I just crave the other I can't have, until I get healed.

BTW, starting tongiht I'll be away from internet access for a couple of days. Don't want anyone to wonder where I went.