A few months ago I made a decision to stop cutting. I knew I'd never be able to stop straight away so I have cut occasionally but a lot lot less. There are times where I normally would have cut but didn't which is great.

But I'm finding I'm vomiting a lot recently. I have spoken to my therapist about it and she's said it is quite a strong reaction to the feelings I am having but never implied it was anything to worry about. I'm pretty sure it is due to anxiety and stress as I have intense nausea and tiredness for a few hours before being sick (and sometimes after). Plus it is sporadic, not like a bug or food poisoning.

Like my therapist I'm not too concerned about sporadic vomiting either but the problem is that I feel I'm latching onto the better feelings I have after vomiting. E.g. today I had a okay day at work but I know somewhere I am really unhappy (although I can't seem to express it with tears or whatever), so I got home and was sick. I'm not sure if I made myself sick because there certainly was no logical thoughts or decisions, but (if it is possible?) I was on autopilot and afterwards I have to admit I felt better.

I can't really tell my therapist about today and being sick because I'm afraid she may think I'm over-reacting, perhaps all this will come to nothing....I just don't want to get into any bad habits.