I just started going to therapy again.. and he seems to have like 10 different diagnosis as a possibility. All I know is that i am so paranoid, all the time.

I am terrified of the phone ringing, cars driving by or stopping at our house, knocking on the door, terrified to check the mail, all because i fear i will get some type of bad news or someone is coming to get me in trouble though i cant think of anything bad i could have done to have the government or police looking for me...

When I drive, whether driving or in the passanger seat I have huge anxiety and paranoia, especially if I see a police car anywhere near me I fear they will pull me over and find me guilty of something horrible or find a block of cocaine in my car or something which makes no sense cause i dont do that! I pay close attention to how I drive and fear I might look like I am swerving or intoxicated when I am not.

At night I have to check to make sure the doors are locked a million times because I am scared to death somebody might break in while we are sleeping and hurt us. when i lay in bed trying to go to sleep i hear bangs and noises exactly like doors opening, foot steps, etc and when I get up to check, everything is quiet, nobody is there. the second I lay back down I hear footsteps and noises again.

Whenevr I am on the computer I take the webcam down and turn it to the wall, so i know people arent watching me. When I go to the store I am certain everyone is watching me, and judging me. If I am anywhere were I must wait in a line or take a seat and wait, i make sure I am either in a corner, or my back is not turned to anybody so I know that nobody is sneaking up on me, or staring at me from behind.

I smell things that nobody else can smell, that triggers panic, anxiety and paranoia such as the smell of fire and i have to search the house, make sure there is nothing about to catch the house on fire (granted... we did experience a house fire last year)

I hate to be alone all the time, but I hate having company or being around people too long because I feel constant judgement, and I imagine what they must be thinking about me. Even if I have a positive social interaction, I will spend the whole night, or week, terrified that I made a bad impression, that they didnt like me, or that they were all talking badly of me.

I constantly check to make sure my cell phone is off and not on the line with anyone, to the point where I will completely turn off the phone if I need to say anything important out of fear that people are listening to me through the cell phone.

This is just the things I can think of right now... So am I crazy? Is it Anxiety, Panic Disorder, is it schizophrenia? I don't see or hear anything. well hear vioces that is. I do hear noises. no voices.