Quote:
Originally Posted by bertieb
I have read books that suggest that if one party really wants to be married and that is their goal and they feel that they are spinning their wheels to get to that goal with someone, then they should make their feelings known and be prepared for the answer. She may be at that point in the relationship, no matter how long you have been together. Granted, it is a threat she made and something to consider on your part as pushing to get her way, but if marriage is her goal and you show no signs of being ready for it then I think it is mature of both of you to agree you have different priorities for your future and try to separate as friends. Some people are happy in relationships for years without marriage, other's are not. This is a fundamental difference for the two of you at this point and one that simply cannot be resolved happily it seems for both parties. I know it hurts terribly for you both but maybe a break will bring one of you around, good luck!
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I respect your answer and know she has a right to want to get married HOPEFULLY for the right reasons. What needs to be made clear is that she started pushing for marriage just a few months after we started dating and the first ultimatum came during month five. With numerous ultimatums after that, I am led to feel that she is more interested in just being married rather than loving me and making me happy. She is 50 years old and has never been married but has a 15 year old daughter to consider as well. I have been married before and know how hard it is to compromise in a marriage. I don't enjoy spending time with her anymore because she is so resentful. If marriage is her top priority rather than finding love, then she is going about it all wrong. She could not even get her daughter's father to marry her. I would like to get married again some day. I just want to marry someone who really loves me and not in such a hurry with the obsession of getting married. Being too pushy has pushed me away. It is sad if we really love each other that we can't continue to grow with one another and relax.