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kebsfroggy · Jun 07, 2011, 05:46 PM

I haven’t been around for awhile. Judging by the number of names I don’t recognize it’s longer than I realized.
Are there times when the sadness is so overwhelming tears provide the only release?
Much, much more than crying but giant sobs to help relieve the pain? I’ve become adept at hiding my feelings from others. However, once alone tears seem the only release from this sadness that runs so deep.

Are there times where your thoughts begin to race, never ending?
Sleep becomes evasive. Everything from reliving the past, worrying about the future or fear someone will uncover deep hidden secrets. Each thought brings another, day and night, never ending….”make them stop, make them stop” you want to scream?

Are you able to suppress your emotions from the world. Then all the pent up anger and frustration burst into a violent rage causing damage to what is around, people, things, yourself for no reason?

I know all too well the depths to which you can fall and how quickly it happens. One minute you’re treading water the next tumbling to the deepest, depths of darkness. Oh yes, for years now, over and over and over. Going through resource after resource, medications, therapy and hospitalizations only to end up right back where I started.
Being “normal”, able to laugh, experience pleasure and enjoying life are fading into distant memories. All that is left is just an empty, endless sadness that actually causes a pain few can understand.

kebs