Hi all

So its 1am here in sunny england and I cant sleep....its like TICK TICK BOOM....!!! I just looked in the mirror and thought...'god you're beautiful' I think I am falling inlove with myself lmao but serioulsy, ok yes I am a little manic right now, but it makes me laugh....I was pouting at myself..and seconds away from snogging the damn mirror!!! Ha ha....but anyway its cool, I usually hate myself and actually think I look disfigured when feeling down,,,,,which I am not going to talk about because right now I love me and so does everyone else

Last night wasnt good... a little arguement with my husband sent me into a GREAT RAGE,, I went so hard at my hubby that I made him cry I was so upset about it last night but today...I am a ***** and just acting like nothing happened.

Something else happened today...really freaked me out, so like I was watching tv when the phone rang, I paused the tv and after my phone call I looked at the tv and the womans dress on the tv was flowing like it was in the wind....so I looked at the remote and then loooked at the tv and it still said paused.....I looked at the woman again and her dress was still flowing...I got a little freaked loooked away and then looked back and it had stopped.....for a few seconds I thought she might pop out of the tv....I mean, only for a split second this happpened that i thought she would pop out of the tv. And the around a week ago, me and my husband was going out,....i walked to the front gate and looked behind me to see if he was coming, I saw a black bird at around knee height flying right at me and just before impact I scrunched up, closed my eyes, but then nothing was there when i opened my eyes.....it was too close to me to have been able to swoop up that quickly..it was right at my knee when I closed my eyes.

Now I am feeling aggitated.........................................................................!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!>>>>!????!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!??!?!??!???!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?

my head is like whossssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh full of songs and thoughts and nonsense.................................today yesterday tomorrow swirling around in an endless pit.....dont know where it starts and dont know where it ends but BAMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
Thats how I feel.

TICK TICK BOOM

Its just like a bomb isnt it........ LIKE WHAM you are alive all of a sudden and oh man doesnt the world loook so damn pretty....I didnt realise how green the grasss was and I didnt reliase just how beautiful the flowers looked in my garden..and oh boy.....THERE IS MAGIC IN THE AIR............maybe I am magic???? ha ha...yeah, actually I do sometimes feel like I am someone real special, like GOD IS WITH ME AND WE ARE CONNECTED ON A SERIOUS LEVEL WHERE HE HAS THIS SPECIAL PLAN FOR ME AND ONLY WHEN I CAN FIND THE KEY WILL HE REVEAL MY SPECIAL PLAN......because I seriously believe I have a plan.....and sometimes I think, if I think hard enough I could ascend.......to a place where there is peace all the wonder and questions about life become clear....as clear to me now like how to open a door and I will finally belong.