Quote:
Originally Posted by ECHOES
Good awareness!
Do you think it could be protection? (not having to feel the hurt, loss of her being there, etc)
Or retaliation? ("if you push me away, then I'm going to push you away")
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total denial and total awareness.my head buried in the sand saying if i totally ignore all of it to the point that i don't even see her sitting in front of me none of this is going to happen.but yet already gone .kind of like a kid screaming in my head i hate you for this,fine go away grrr grrr grretc...all the time wasting the time i have because someplace i don't believe it is going to happen.she just cant be going away again.that is just crazy.all non verbal because of the totally paralyzing fear that if i ever said out loud these horrible things out loud it can only bring pain and punishment.safer to just keep quiet and it will all pass