Enter depression. Now I am going through the aftermath, withdrawing from my husband, emotional, irritable and tired. I am angry with him for not being with me today when that happened, even though we planned it that way (because I thought I'd' be okay) and he had a commitment that he couldn't move. I was just too stubborn to push out the appointment; I wanted to get it over with because I couldn't sit with the anxiety! Oh, the irony. It's not fair or rational to be angry at hiim - this isn't his fault at all. It's just me and my messed up brain who are responsible.

There is also anxiety about work tomorrow; will I still be in pain? Will it be manageable? What will I say if I'm asked about why I was off (it is very personal...)? Will hubby and I get over it? Will I be too distracted by all of this to focus? Tomorrow is a crazy day at the office and I'm already working myself into a major frenzy which is totally NOT necessary. All of this will just make things worse and guarantee a bad day on what otherwise might be a pretty good one. Oh man...this all sucks. I need my pdoc.