My therapist ( the one I was seeing for a year and a half who I was going to terminate with ) and I have decided that I would come once a month
and not rush myself with terminating therapy..When I do go we chose to change the amount of time from 50 minutes to 90 minutes....that way I won't worry about when to make an appointment ... or when to schedule or if time is about to run out.. I will have some type of consistency with appointments. Anywho, although this is true.........I feel emotionally whacked, messed up...I hate not having the money to go more then once a month...I've felt like crying for the past three days and nothing will come...this is not like me...plus, I don't even know why I am upset and have a hard time getting out of bed in the morning...I DISLIKE..wanting to go to therapy or feeling like I need it and not being able to go. I'm thinking keeping therapy consistent will be good for me because we've never really done that or at least, its been a very long time since. However, it feels like I have a huge painful hole in my heart and all I want to do is cry because I want to go to therapy. I do know, sometimes in life, the best things for you don't necessarily feel too good .... but, where do I draw the line between self discipline and emotional breakdown? you be the judge... :/ lol. gahh. I've been restricting therapy without us even making this decision for 5 months...I'm at the point where I just want what I want and want to stop being so guarded...and just accept that in some wayss I do have an attachment to therapy..this can just get exausting.
Positive news is, I have an appointment with the school counselor tommorow, and although she is not as helpful as my therapist, maybe it'll help me deal and not go completley beserk. lol blahg..Sry, its been hard to respond lately but, I wish everyone well....

JAZZY