Hi Lauru,

(huge hugs). I am sorry you are feeling so bad at the moment about yourself and about how you were treated growing up. I am glad you have found a therapist who is there for you and who can offer that support and unconditional positive regard that you missed in childhood, I honestly know how that feels.
It was never a reflection on you, of how your parents didn't treat you in a way that made you feel all those good things a child should feel, especially safe and loved unconditionally, it was a reflection on your parents and their inability to give a beautiful child everything she needed and deserved. I too can relate to wishing i had different parents a lot of the time, it feels very sad to know that.
Abuse to a child is never, ever their fault because the power differential is never equal. In abuse their is the abuser and the victim or survivor. The abuser is always the one at fault, they are the adult who know what they are doing is wrong but are failing to protect the child. No child deserves to be hurt. I know it's hard to accept this when it happens to you because as humans we always ask ourselves what we did wrong and how we could have stopped it etc but the real truth is, the child is never at fault and they do what they need to to survive. (((((huge hugs))))))

You are not all those things you think you are hun, I hope someday you can believe that and see how worthy, beautiful and bright you really are!

diz xxxx