Quote:
Originally Posted by jexa
I have needs, I need to love and be loved, and those needs just don't get met for me. There is a loneliness so great in me that it feels like it could swallow the universe.
The thing is, though, love cannot be controlled. I want to feel safe giving it. But you can't feel safe giving it. I don't even know what it means to let go.
The monster, by the way, is actually not a monster.
She is not a monster at all. I call her that because she acts like a monster. She is a child, throwing a tantrum. I've tried to talk with her before. But all she can say is that she wants everyone in the whole world to love her, all of the time. So that is the feeling. I can't give her what she wants. And most of the time I hate her for wanting it. I guess that is cruel, huh.
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Fear of intimacy, even though you are starving for it?
You want a relationship that you can control so then you will feel safe? Maybe this is why you are in your head all the time because you can control your thoughts? Healing is being with your feelings though and this is where life is lived too.
Some inner child work maybe?
You can work through this Jexa.