I love this woman, regardless of a somewhat substantial age difference (16yrs).
I feel rejected by her often, to the point where I don't really believe when she
Starts acting interested in sex... I've been been led to be arroused by her so many times and it hurts.
I end up feeling rejected if she suddenly, after getting her pleasure turns away or loses
interest. I realize that so often in her past, men simply used her for their own ends.. and I
try so hard to not feel like this is personal. She repeatedly assures me it isn't, that she does
Want me.. but I have a low self esteem from years of being hurt by others.. I'm something
That no one ever wanted. Feeling desired would help with this.. I try every day to show her
That it isn't only her body that I want, I want her heart, her smile, her laugh, I want to
Share ideas with her, I fully intend to stand by her side through whatever road she must
walk, if she'll have me. She still fears being used, even by me, even though she knows otherwise.
We're going through therapy, both of us separately, and as a couple soon.
She wants to get a job, but fears that if a man makes a pass at her... she'll just do what he
Wants in order to avoid confrontation and him forcing himself on her.

In short.. I'm confused, don't understand the rules, she tells me she may never get better.
She keeps questioning my love for her, I keep thinking how unfair it is that I am paying
For the sins of other men. I don't try to pressure her, but I hate facing the wall and crying
Myself to sleep most every night.