If my T reads PC, she will surely recognize me now...

I told her recently, when I am not actually in here, and I think about this place, about the work we do, about you, I fear you. I fear your power, your tremendous power, you could just grind me to powder... but when I come in here, and I see you, i'm not afraid of you; I fear some of the things we get into around here (she nodded), but not YOU.

maybe that's at the bottom of it, who knows. All I know is, my stomach is clutching already.