I've been with a man for 2yrs now and for the last few months things are not feeling special anymore. I've been having these conflicting feeling for awhile now and its hard to reason with myself if I should leave. I look at myself in the mirror and I tell myself that I should just be brave already and just jump to make that choice, but I dont know what is that I want. Currently we are also in Couples Therapy. Alot of the things I listed on my cons list is hard for me to really figure out if thats how I feel. They are things that I've been thinking about but I just dont know what to make of them

I've listed below the pros and cons so please tell me what you think:

Pros:
He doesn't verbally and physically abuse me
He's understanding to my sexual needs and when I say no and doesn't push the issue
He understand why I hate majority of my family and he came to the rescue when I had to leave my family home as a emergency.
He's accepted the many health issues that I have: epilepsy
He takes me to all of my doctor visits and he gets involved in the process
He supports my education
He's put up with my anger and tantrums and loves me regardless
He supports my belief that I dont want to have kids
From time to time we still enjoy each other company and we can still laugh
He was willing to go through counseling therapy without fighting about it.


Cons:
-I think I might be staying with him because he is the only one who is still there for for my health. I am currently preparing for my brain surgery.
-Could I be staying with him because I'm scared to be alone?
-He doesn't have a a good paying job
-I currently carry the financial burden of the relationship
-He has 4 kids that lives in a different state and his child support is 50% of his check
-He lives with his sister where their mom pays for their rent. Both of them can't afford to live on their own
-I find myself being too understanding of his circumstances that I could be losing myself in the relationship
-I find myself thinking more about financial issues then the status of the relationship
-For the things that has happen in the past I have a very hard time trusting him especially with money
-He was fired from his last job bc of a positive drug test for meth. He told me he's never done drug before. i did my research and it said that its possible to get a false positive bc meth is made from over the counter drug so if someone took things like: sudafed and tylenol. Since then I just dont know what to believe.
-Months ago he took $30 from me and bluntly told me that I was crazy and that he didn't take my money. I pushed the issue and yes he did take my money.

My standards/expectations in my mate/bf/husband:
*what my bf meets my standards

I want a man that can financially provide for the family
To have a goal in life
To take charge of his life
Willing to try new things in life *
Loves kids and animals *
Has patience *
Wants to get involved in human rights *
Does not have addiction problems
Does not have a anger problem *