Sounds like you have already made up your mind. In my mind, I know if my bf tested positive for meth and he told me he didn't do it - I would believe him. What are the reasons you don't necessarily buy what he's telling you?

Can I ask how old you are? The thing is, is that men make fun of women for blowing their paycheck, but studies show men are actually the one's who are typically not good with money. Women tend to pay more attention to bills, how much is in their bank account, savings etc.... If you both are really young, he might just still be a little immature on the money side. However, the money here isn't really the issues. It's the fact that he lies to you about it.

Not to sound mean but he kind of sounds like a bum. First off - your pros should NEVER be that he doesn't abuse you. That is not a pro - that is a normal human being. I understand why you feel that way bc that's how I justified my last relationship. Having been in a physically abusive relationship, I thought - well he doesn't hit me so he must be awesome. Now I understand that that's not a pro - it's how people SHOULD be. Same goes for not pushing you to have sex. That is just a standard respect issue.

From looking at your "pros" list I don't see too many of the things you say you need from a mate. And personally, I don't see looking at money as so shallow like some people say it is. For most people (IMO) if you don't have a job, or a good paying job.....it stems from just not having the motivation to do something about it. Granted, in this economy you have to take what you can get....but is he even trying?

There is a book I think is really good for situations like this. It's called Too Good to Leave, Too Bad to Stay by Mira Kirshenbaum. It's hard to do the pros and cons bc certain aspects may be more important to you than others. And this book takes through 27 (I think) "diagnostic traits" for you to test out and see if your relationship meets those standards.

Also, you say that you enjoy each other's company "from time to time". Does that mean that most of the time you just tolerate him? I really hope you can work through these emotions. Maybe see your couples therapist alone for a session so you can openly say all of these things without worrying about his response?