When I drink I get back to the old me as well. I honestly think you have some self esteem things to work out. I know of a wonderful book. I started reading it in May and I've felt amazingly better since then and several people have told me that I appear less anxious and stressed than I have been for a while. It's not time consuming and if you do what it says you'll be happier I think.

http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/1...steem_Workbook

Good luck. PM/email me if you want to talk. Email would achieve a quicker response most likely