One thing that I have found is that how I react to present day situations is often linked to my childhood experiences. For example, if my husband is irritated and banging things around in the kitchen, it reminds me of my Dad (who did similarly). The fear kicks in because my Dad being angry was often a prelude to my Mum getting upset and threatening to leave home. So when my hubby does the irritation bit I react in fear - because as a child the fear motibvated me to intervene, and often redirect my Dad's anger onto me, or to comfort my Mum so she wouldn't leave. I'm working at reminding myself that the situation now is not the same as it was when I was a chld. It's really hard to do, though, because I still get all the initial anxiety reactions in my body. I just (sounds easy, huh?!) have to remind myself that these reactions do not reflect reality.

I'm still struggling with it though. Anyone's suggestions gratefully received for me too.