Hi, I'm a new member, and newly diagnosed with Bipolar. I'll try and keep this as brief as possible, and I'm hoping to hear of someone who has experienced similar and come out the other side in one piece.
I'm 32 years old and I have 2 beautiful little girls aged 2 and 4 and up until a few months ago I had been married (completely faithfully) for 10 years. In March this year I had my first hypomanic episode and ruined my life. I went crazy, left my husband (taking the kids with me) and slept with 6 other men in the space of 3 weeks. I can't even describe it, I look back now and feel I must have been posessed. I dont' even know what i was thinking. I was so selfish. Now everything is in pieces. I have just been diagnosed with Bipolar and will start Lithium next week. My poor husband has fallen in a heap with depression over my actions. He is freaked out that I might have caught HIV and then given it to him (we slept together once after I had been with other men). The poor man is a mess and it's all my fault. He is so angry at me for doing what I've done and I don't blame him. He doesn't want to see me or the kids and they really miss their daddy. I have caused so much suffering on those that I love and I can't do anything to fix it. I'm in huge debt after spending $10,000 on my credit card, which is yet another thing to make my husband angry. I would give anything to take it all back and have my life as it was but I don't think it is ever going to happen. How could I do this? How am I ever going to get through this?
Any advice would be sincerely apprecated.