I really hate seeing you go through all of this. It's so painful, and especially since he won't/can't explain. What has your therapist said about everything? I know therapy can take time to really get into full swing -- it takes time to let walls down and start feeling comfortable enough to get at the root of issues, to be able to calm down and deal with emotions and thoughts rationally and objectively. It always hard to figure out what to do...

I hope you continue to attend therapy. Continue to work on yourself, being kind to yourself. Remember you are a good person, a loving wife and mother, worthy of love and happiness. You are not a failure. His reactions and feelings and thoughts are beyond your control. Do everything you can to take care of yourself, to make you and your children your number one priority.