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Originally Posted by turquoisesea
((((Kebs)))) it's great to see you too - a familiar face =D
so much of what you're describing sounds all too familiar to me. Right now I'm in an overall upswing. I still have issues but I'm coping and things are much better. Are you really right back where you started? Havent you been places and done things - is the depression just making you forget what you've found? Or did none of the meds work?
. . .
I'm enjoying big parts of my life right now. I am stressed right this moment so granted I'm a little worse than amonth ago but I went and played some sports last monday and had a BLAST, I went and DID things that I never could have done 1.5-2 years ago!!! Have faith that things can get better (((((Kebs)))))
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Thank you kindly, Turquoisesea. I'm glad you are able to enjoy parts of your life. The little "stress" moments have a way of slipping through every now and then. I'm so glad you are able to "do" things and find pleasure.
Is it as bad as it was...
The memories never returned as I had hoped they would. I see my children and my children's children but the memories are not there. Conversations, jokes, laughter and then "oh but you don't remember any of this do you".
Physically I'm in almost constant pain. So in addition to the mood stabilizers, anti-depressants and sleeping pills I spend my days and nights on narcotics. Then when the pain breaks through the meds and enough time has passed a series of injections are used.
There is just an emptiness, a life full of nothingness. A constant feeling of failure travels where ever I go but life just goes on.
kebs