Hey TottalyMessedUp,

How are you? It looks like you are going through a awful lot right now and it MUST be difficult for you! I am glad you have posted aboutwhat is happening for youand you are willing to reach out and ask for help! That is a great first step!!! WellDone!!

Alcohol is a anti depressant, but can affect you a lot! Exspecially when you are feeling low unable to control these emotions...Are you get any form of extra support couselling/therapy and so on?
Keep us updated ((((Hugs))))