Quote:
Originally Posted by kaliope
Ive spent my whole life being crazy, but high functioning. I made it through college and got my degree late in life. Had a breakdown and was hospitalized twice while doing it, but I made it. Still, I have always felt like a fraud, because underneath it all I knew what I was hiding. So I have been stable these last couple years, finally getting to the point where I dont feel like such a fake anymore. So here I am at this professional party last night, a fundraiser. And Im fitting in. Had a really nice time. Im going to leave and my friends and I are looking for the host to say our goodbyes. My friend goes up to talk to this gentleman and I am thinking how he looks familiar. And then it just SLAMS me, like I walked smack into a door. Its my dentist. (I have severe dental anxiety) My friend said my face immediately went flush. My limbs went numb, my head was spinning. I couldnt breathe. I started crying. It was awful. My friends didnt think I would be able to drive home. Im horribly embarrassed over the whole incident. How can I exist in a professional capacity if stuff like this can happen any time it feels like it? Sucks so much!  |
You can exist in a professional world but you know now that you have to prepare yourself when you go into such a large venue or any place where you might run into a trigger. I know, I've been there and I had a successful career despite PTSD and bipolar disorder. For me it worked for me to have a "self-soothing" phrase in my head. Often it was as simple as "say hello and politely excuse yourself." Sounds too easy, but trust me it worked if I felt panic coming on. If I was with friends who knew about the potential for panic, I tried to stay close and they didn't need too much of a warning before knowing to get me to a safe space. Do NOT give up on yourself or your career. Trust me, if you got through college, you'll be able to function professionally.