I think T is not talking to me. I am sure he is angry, and I would be too. I got REALLY REALLY triggered at the very end of session - like, more triggered than ever - and things completely unraveled I seriously seriously freaked out. And it was in the last two minutes of what had been a really vulnerable, connecting session. I feel sick.

I apologized. T e-mailed and said he could call me after a meeting tonight. It's my sons birthday so the timing was a little complicated. I told him that I didn't want him to call if he was still really angry. He e-mailed and said that maybe it would be better to talk in the morning and he might be able to call me at 10:30. At 10:30, I will be in a dr appt with my oldest son until 11:30 so I told him I couldn't talk then. I e-mailed and left a message and never heard back. I know T is done with me for the day, and I would be too.

I just keep taking klonopin. I'm going to stop now, but it's hard. The more numb I feel the better.