I have made my decision. After 13 years together, and eight years of marriage, I feel that there is just nothing left for me to salvage. There is nothing left for me to want to salvage. I am tired. I can't do this anymore, and I am unhappy. I am tired of pretending. I cannot pretend to be happy, just so that he is happy. There are some sacrifices I am just not willing to make. I am honestly scared to death. I have wanted to leave for a long time, I pushed him away. I fight what he calls love and affection. He's hurt me. I've hurt him. I can finally admit to myself the truth--I do not love him anymore; I am not sure if I ever loved him. I don't know why I was afraid to say I was unhappy here; I do not know why I am afraid to leave. I sat tonight, alone with my thoughts, when I came up with this decision. I cried. I cried for him, not for me, but for him. I can't take care of him anymore. I have to take care of me.