Dragonfly, yeah.... the last straw analogy is a good one. The thing is a 3,000 mile move. From somewhere I love (and had wanted to live for years before I finally got here) to somewhere I don't want to be. (BF got accepted at a specialized college, yup at middle age, and that's where it is.) It's funny, because I almost wrote of this "at least this one won't sideswipe me", since we know it's coming. Nonetheless, we know no one, will arrive in town with a UHaul and nowhere specific to bring it, not to mention how much all this will cost, which will all be out of savings, as neither of us has really worked for the last several months.

We're already mostly packed, so as to avoid that last minute stress crunch, so that will help. In terms of support team, it's BF and my psych. That's it. VERY fortunately, my psych is seeing to keeping me in meds for a nice chunk of time to transition and to do sessions via Skype (or even phone if it comes to that). I had a VERY hard time finding a psych here, so I REALLY appreciate that.

Yeah, Direction, prep work is what I'm trying to do, which is an interesting dichotomy. It seems to alternately make me feel somewhat in control and also panic-y. Packing= control, research= panic. Nonetheless, I've been trying to research the area to not go in totally cold (ahhh, learned that the hard way soooo many times before being dx'd!), but can only handle it in short bursts. My sleep's been wonky for a long time, but it has been an unbelievably stressful year. Working on it. Oddly enough, we have been eating better(!) Lol, since all the food's out of the cabinets, we know exactly what we have to use up, causing us to meal plan better then usual. Who knew?!

I try not to dwell on it too much, but it is hard when you know your world is about to be turned upside down. I feel like I just got settled a bit here and now, just over a year later, to be starting all over again....it's overwhelming. I did try to make a list of potential positives and for me it basically came down to "maybe I can work indoors". I wish I was joking.

I do love that he is pursuing something he loves, but am terrified about the whole job thing, finding a new psych (those 2 things alone very nearly broke me last year) and learning my way around a whole new area (I just barely got this one down!), because I get very confused. I have already printed out maps of the area. I really am trying.

Back to the last straw analogy, see above (and other biggies I don't want to talk about). I feel like I've just started to recover from so many things that had already brought me to my psychological knees...
I know all I can do is try. I'm just really scared.

(Glad to hear your mom is much improved, dragonfly! )